How do I not lose it with my #ADHD child?
For any parent, raising a child and managing the household can be a draining, add Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) into the mix, and you should receive a Nobel prize with knobs on! Raising a child with ADHD is not like 'traditional'
parenting and normal rule-making isn’t always possible. ADHD can influence many areas of your parenting strategy and you may need to do things differently from other parents to meet your child’s needs. But guess what... that is okay!
As a parent it is important to acknowledge that your child has a functionally different brain from other children. This does not mean your child will not be able to do things other children can, they might just need that little extra support. Below you will find some tips on managing ADHD at home. Let me know in the comments if you have a tip other parents should know!
1. Structure Your Days
Children with ADHD have great difficulty structuring their time independently, therefore the more help in this area, the better. Timetables are great so children know what is coming next and when something is coming to an end (timers are also a great resource for this). Your child may struggle with transitions as many children with ADHD do - structure can help this ten-fold as they know what to expect, and when to expect it!
If chores are part of your child’s day, there are some great apps you can tap into to help with these! One I particularly like is the Joon App. You can give your child tasks (known as quests) through the app, and your child can earn points by completing the tasks which can be used towards the built-in game! I love the idea of this because it motivates them to complete their chores, the app rewards them and it takes away the nagging part of parenting because the app does it for you!
Please contact me if you are interested in this and are struggling with the cost of living - There is a 'Families in Need' programme that I can provide information for. Drop me a message to know more.
2. Prepare for Transitions
This one follows on from point 1. Give your child lots of reminders and countdowns when transitioning. Give 10-, 5- and 2-minute warnings whenever you can to prepare them.
3. Don’t be Afraid to be Silly
Loosen up a little and have some fun with your child! ADHD children, and any children for that matter, love play and silliness – it keeps their attention well. With ADHD children, a lot of their life needs structure which can become boring, but you can show them that doesn’t mean those around them have to be boring! Have some fun, your child will not forget it - even if you are beyond mortified!
4. Praise Wherever Possible
If you do not have ADHD yourself, it may be hard to appreciate just how challenging some tasks can be. For this reason, praise is your best friend and your child needs all the praise they can get. Your child will thrive off encouragement, even if to you it is a simple task. A common characteristic of ADHD is low self-esteem, so praising can also help reduce these thoughts from occurring. If your child is struggling with self-confidence around their ADHD, please drop me a message for more info on my 1:1 coaching.
5. Encourage Exercise
Your child is likely to have pent up physical energy a lot of the time, especially after containing it all day at school. By encouraging exercise, it creates a healthy way to release this energy and allows them to focus on whatever movement they are doing. This aids with their concentration and stimulates the brain. Many researchers believe sport can act as a constructive way for children with ADHD to focus their energy and pour passion into. Explore different sports they might like to try, or simply take them to the park for a good run around!
6. Regulate Sleep Pattern
Okay, we know this one is not fun or easy for any parent, but it is important none the less. Poor sleep can lead to hyperactivity and restlessness, so allow your child enough sleep each night to feel well rested. To achieve this, try to reduce caffeine and sugars, particular before bed. Screen time before bed, as we all know, can also impact sleep due to the blue light in our screens. By establishing a structure to bedtime that is consistent and predictable, it should make bedtime easier for you also. Sleep is key for your sanity!
7. Take Time for Yourself
Parenting is hard, and no one can do perfectly all the time (even the mummy bloggers on Instagram who look like they have their s**t together). It is normal to become overwhelmed with it all or become frustrated with your child. Just as your child may sometimes need breaks, you need breaks as well. This could be whatever you find calming, such as going for a walk or taking a long bubble bath. If you are able to, find a local babysitter or team up with another parent and baby sit for each other to give yourself some rest.
8. Tap into a Support Network
Don’t feel like you need to do this alone. ADHD is an incredibly common disorder and you may be surprised how accessible support is in your local area. You could seek help from online communities of other parents, parental seminars and workshops on parenting ADHD, or in some areas there is access to youth clubs and play groups for children with ADHD and other disabilities you can use. Accessing a support network can be great if you are feeling lost and feel none of your parent friends can relate to the problems you have at home. Remember, you are not alone!
ADHD UK is one of these great resources with Facebook groups, Q&A sessions and drop ins. They have upcoming virtual sessions providing guidance on ADHD assessments and diagnosis, a great start to finding information if you are just starting your journey with an ADHD diagnosis. See this link for more information. Support | ADHD UK
Alternatively, get in contact with your GP and they may be able to direct you to support groups in your local area.
Let's wrap it up...
So, there we have 8 tips on managing ADHD at home. I hope some of them can be of use to your and family. As with anything, trial and error is key to finding what works for your family. If your child is old enough to have a conversation about their ADHD, include them and talk about what they feel might help them. Let me know if you try any of the above methods and if you have any success with them!
A Final Note….
As a specialist in SEND with a keen focus on ADHD, I know the struggles many parents can have when treading this path. If you are struggling with your child’s needs at home, I would love to help. I offer practical support and coaching for parents with managing SEND at home, as well as support for children who are struggling with confidence and accepting their needs. Please reach out if you believe I can help in any way. I would love to work together!